Alive
by 4biddnLoveCanBOvercomB.A-E.B
Summary: Episode 2. Follows Becoming Ended. Had to break down into smaller stories cuz I've kept going.
1. Chapter 3

_Authors Note: Dont worry. The Prologue from the beginning of the story will make sense soon. I hope you are all liking this. I have loved writing it. _

**Chapter 3**

I awoke in a dark room. My eyes felt like they had been pressed down for days, I could barely open them. I searched the room for signs of life, of color, of anything. Images started to appear. I saw a window, the shades were drawn. I looked around and saw a door, it was closed as well. Where was I, I thought? Suddenly several arms were holding me down. I couldn't see any faces, I just remember the pressure. When faces started to appear I couldn't believe who I was looking at. Xander? Willow? Angel?, they were all holding me down.

I couldn't move, pain started shooting through my body. What the hell was going on. I started trying to scream, but nothing came out. "Buffy." One of them said. I couldn't tell who. "Sssh...it'll all be over soon." Willow finished. What will all be over soon I thought. I started moving every inch of my body in an effort to escape.

"Buffy…" a familiar voice once again spoke my name. "Buffy…wake up." The voice repeated. "Wake up!" The voice shouted. I jolted awake realizing I was in a dream. When my eyes adjusted to the light, there he was at my bed side. "Angel?" I started saying softly, "am I dreaming, where am I?" I finished, still not quite aware of my surroundings. I proceeded to lift my body into an upright position in the soft white bed. I finally realized I was in the hospital. Angel was sitting at my bed side. "You're in the hospital. You've been in a coma for nearly 2 weeks. The doctors weren't sure if you would ever wake up. God Buffy.." Angel said with a slight shakiness in his voice. I could see the tears forming in his eyes. Before I could respond he ran out of the room. Entering moments after he left was Will, Xander, and Giles.

"Giles," I gasped. "Your okay?" his wounds I remembered seeing were almost completely healed by now. "Buffy…", Giles sounded "of course I am okay. You saved me." Giles paused. Will and Xander had surrounded my bed. Willow grabbed my fingers holding on tight. "Buffy…" tears started to form in her eyes, "I knew you would wake up, the doctors said…but I knew you would wake up." Willow finished in between sniffles. "After what the doctors said about your coma Will, haven't you learned not to believe those damn doctors?" Xander smirked as he looked at us both. "I sure am glad you're okay Buffy." Giles cut in, "you were amazing Buffy, I am so proud of you… You destroyed Acathla…you saved the world." He finished with a gentle smile. "Yeah Buff, "Xander continued. "Now you just have to explain to your mom why you have been in a coma the last 2 weeks." He finished with worried look on his face. My mom I thought, oh my god. I hadn't spoken to her since the day Kendra died. "Oh my god, my mom," I started stammering, "Where is she, is she okay?" "I called her the second I saw dead boy dash out of here. I knew that meant you were awake. She is on her way here." Xander replied. "Your mother Buffy…we didn't know what to tell her. When…" Giles looked to the floor, "when Angel brought you into the hospital we didn't know what had happened. So we told her we didn't know what happened. She is pretty shaken up Buffy…what are you going to tell her?" Giles finished. I thought about it a moment. After everything I had been through. Nothing had ever gotten this bad. I had run out of excuses. "The truth." I replied. "You sure Buffy?" Willow questioned, "you think she'll understand?" "I don't know. But I can't hide this from her anymore. I almost died…again. I have to tell her who I am."

"What are you going to tell her about Angel?" Willow let in. "Angel…" I said softly. "Your spell worked didn't it Will? Right before I remember passing out, I saw something go through him. He is Angel again." I slowed my words as I saw Giles face drop. "Giles…I know what he did to you…but it wasn't Angel, you know that?" "Yes Buffy.." he said in a low tone. "I know." I knew there was more Giles wanted to say, but he didn't. He kept his face firm and strong as always. "Where did dead boy go anyway?" Xander said, with not much care at all in his voice. I looked around at Will…Giles…"I don't know", I started to say. "He was here…holding my hand at my bedside. When I woke up…he said something…then just left." "Yeah that is weird, "Willow said, "he hasn't left your side since he brought you in." Willow finished. I wondered what Angel must be going through. Having his soul again, the thoughts of what he had done running through his mind every moment. I missed him, I longed for him.

My friends surrounded me, laughing; Xander making jokes, going on about all that I had missed in the last couple weeks. Giles letting me know that he told Snyder I had an accident and that's why I had missed school. He knew Snyder just thought I was a troubled teen. Willow informed me that the cops ruled Kendra's death a mystery. "Hey Buffy… I have been working on this spell..." Willow started saying. "Buffy…" a voice I knew so well but hadn't heard in what felt like months. The door to my room swung open. "Oh god Buffy." My mom ran to my side. "I am so glad your okay, I was so worried honey." I was so excited to see her I nearly fell out of bed. Surprisingly I felt strong. "I'm okay mom." I let her know. The wound on my stomach still hurt like hell, but I could feel my strength returning. I ran my hand through my hair after hugging my mom, worried I had 2 week old bed hair. "Oh sweetie," She sighed, "What happened to you, you sure you're feeling okay?" I looked to my friends. "Guys…" They knew what that meant. I needed time with my mom. "We'll be right outside." Giles informed. My mom sat comfortably on the bed next to me.

I searched my mind for the right words. I didn't have the right words. Mom, I'm a vampire slayer. I ran the words through my mind a few times, contemplating a way to tell her. "Mom…" she looked at me, eyes wide, swollen from crying. I took a deep breath, "I'm a Vampire Slayer." There, I said it. The look on her face didn't day much. I gave her a moment to respond. "What?" She sighed.


	2. Chapter 3 cont

_Authors Note: Hopefully everything is starting make sense. The prologue will soon come into play._

My mom looked confused. I expected as much. "Mom, listen. I know this doesn't really make sense to you right now…but it's the truth; I'm a vampire slayer." My mom responded quickly, "No Buffy," she shook her head vigorously. "I spoke to the doctor's; they said you could have memory loss. Maybe you just think you are this…what…vampire slayer. Oh god Buffy, you're delusional."

"Mom!" I shrieked. "This is not a joke, and I am not delusional. As much as you would like to think I am, I'm not." I started to get very angry. She wasn't taking it well at all. She wasn't even trying to accept it. She got up and started pacing the room. I continued on, "Mom what do you think has been going on the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences? How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing and you still haven't figured it out?" I was starting to feel like myself again. Powerful, strong, alive. "Well it stops now!" my mom looked hard at me. "No it doesn't stop…it never stops." I thought I was going to cry. "Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? Look at me, I'm in the hospital, I almost died. I would love to be at home right now watching TV, talking about boys with my friends, god even studying. But I'm the slayer mom, and I had to save the world…again." I poured out the words with so much force, trying my hardest to make her understand.

"Buffy this is crazy, you need help." I couldn't take it anymore. I tore the covers off me, got off the bed and stepped in front of my mom. I pulled back my gown, revealing my wound. "Mom, I'm not crazy. I need you to believe me." She wouldn't even look at me. I put her hand on my stomach. "You feel that mom? This is real, this really happened…" a part of me felt horrible for telling her this. "Mom, I'm still me." She looked at my stomach, ready to cry. She pulled back the cloth and noticed how much my wound had healed; she could barely see where it was.

She searched my face before speaking. "Buffy…I don't like this. Your right, you almost died. That is not okay with me. Whatever it is you… do…I don't like it." She rested her hand on my cheek. "I know mom," I started. "Being the slayer isn't something I chose. I was Chosen, to kill vampires…to fight evil." I looked at her hoping for a glimpse of understanding. "So this…all this, missing school, the fights, you in a coma…" she turned and sat in the chair by the wall. "This was all what…part of the job?" I leaned my head to the side just slightly, trying to break it to her as easy as I could. "Yeah." I said softly. "Look mom, I don't like this either, but it's who I am." My mom didn't exactly get it, but the now somber look on her face let me know at least she understood, even though she didn't like it. I sat back onto the nice white bed. "Look mom, I know there is still so much to talk about this. But can I ask you one thing?" She looked at me, trying to show some sort of understanding. "Sure Buffy, what is it?" I looked at her softly, a small grin forming on my face. "Can you get me outa here?" I was okay; I had to get out of the hospital. "Sure honey lets get the doctor in here to check your vitals and then we'll go." "Okay," I replied, "But you know though, I do have super powers, I have healed completely, I know I'm okay." "One thing at a time Buffy," she contested on her way out the door, "one thing at a time."

After the doctor told my mom that I was indeed okay, Willow brought in my clothes and I changed quickly in the bathroom. Willow, Giles and Xander planned on coming to my house later. I hugged each of my friends before getting into the car with my mom to head home. The ride was short. I had to get out the clothes I was wearing. They were the ones I wore that day, the day I killed Acathla. My favorite lace blue top was ripped where I had been stabbed. Not to mention it was bloody along with my brown slacks. My room of course hadn't changed. I felt like I had been away at camp or something. Being stabbed through the stomach really takes a lot out of you. I couldn't wait to start training again, getting things back to normal.

After Willow and everybody left that night I went straight to bed. I couldn't wait to get a real nights sleep. As I entered my room I felt a presence. I knew who it was, I wasn't sure if I should say his name, or even look at him. It was all still so weird. But I had to, I had longed for him from the moment I felt his lips on mine before I nearly died. I looked up and saw his shadow outside my window. "Angel…" At the sound of my voice his shadow disappeared. I ran to my window, he had left. Why, I thought. I needed him, he needed me.

I couldn't wait til morning. I didn't have time to change either, I had to see him. I passed my moms room, noticing she had gone to sleep. I hurried down the stairs and out the front door in search of Angel. It was refreshing not having to sneak out my window. I went in the direction of the mansion. I wasn't sure where he'd go. After what happened in both his apartment and the mansion I didn't know where he would rather be. I took my chance at the mansion. As I ran through Restfield Cemetery, something stopped me. A smell, I knew that smell. My eyes searched the cemetery. When my eyes caught his I thought I might pass out again. He looked amazingly gorgeous in his usual white sleeveless tee and black slacks, with his normal black long leather jacket. I moved towards him, I knew he saw me. He stood silently beside a gravestone. Our eyes locked for but a moment, but that moment said everything. As I moved towards him he looked at the ground. When I was almost to him he turned, started to leave.

"Angel." I seemed to shout his name. He stopped, his back still turned to me. "Why do you keep running away?" I started as I gently touched his shoulder.

His body was tense, I could feel it. I could feel his pain, his frustration; I started to understand why he kept running. "Buffy" he said softly as he turned to me. I felt like I hadn't seen his face in months. His soft dark brown eyes, that gorgeous mouth, his perfect dark brown hair. I found my self staring at him, waiting for a response. "Buffy…how can you even look at me?" he continued on. "After what I …did. I don't…deserve…anything." He finished so silently and full of pain I almost couldn't bare it. His eyes still looking at the ground, I moved in closer to him and gently turned his body more towards me. All those feelings I had for him were still there. They seemed to be stronger now then they ever were. I knew he felt it to.

"Angel…" I started as I softly touched his chin and brought his eyes up to meet mine. "That wasn't you. I know that, you saved me. If it weren't for you and Willow I wouldn't even be here right now." I spoke in such a calm tone hoping to ease his pain, even a little. "Angel, I need you. I meant what I said. I love you. I always will. I can't imagine what you're going through." I wanted to hold him so badly, I just wanted to touch him, be near to him. "Everything I did Buffy, how can you…all those horrible things I did to you…to Giles…Ms. Calendar….God Buffy I am so sorry. I can barely stand to be alive right now." Angel said quickly, tears forming in his eyes. "I know you are honey, I know all that, why do you think I am here? I know you feel terrible. I want to be here for you… All I want is you." I repeated the words I had said so long ago. He was now looking deeply into my eyes. We breathed each other in. I put my hand on his cheek, caressing him softly. "Angel..." I whispered as my lips met his, falling into a deep longing kiss. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer; So much passion in that one kiss. I wanted more, I needed more. I moved my arms around his neck in an effort to be as close to him as I possibly could. At that moment, he broke the kiss. Before I could realize the pain in his eyes he moved back quickly, releasing his grip on me. "I can't..." he started..." Buffy, I'm sorry, I just can't." he finished as he turned and vanished so quickly into the dark.


	3. Chapter 4

_Authors Note: Okay I said the prologue would make sense soon, and it will. I just found myself continuing the story. It will catch up to the prologue shortly though, promise. Thanks for any suggestions anyone might have._

**Chapter 4**

I walked home slowly, not really caring how long it took me to get home. I knew Angel was going through something, something really bad. But we needed each other. I didn't wan him to have to go through this alone. As I walked up the porch and entered the front door the house was still silent. I stood at the door, memories flashing. The night Angelus had told my mom we slept together; it was also the same night Willow performed a spell so that Angel couldn't enter my home anymore. I had almost forgotten he needed to be re-invited. I went up to my room.

My mind quickly wandered through what had happened the last few days; the days I remembered anyway. What Angelus had done what we had all gone through. When suddenly as I sat on my bed I remembered something Willow said. She mentioned she was working on a spell. I never did hear what that was all about. I took a mental note, talk to Willow in the morning. I pushed my feet under my covers and lay down, covering myself with the sheets. It was a warm night; I drifted off to sleep, thoughts of Angel running through my mind.

So much passion, his kisses lit my body on fire. I couldn't help but melt into his arms with every touch. As Angel kissed my neck I gasped in excitement. I pulled him close. As he walked us to his bedside kissing me softly I pulled at his shirt, lifting it up over his head. His muscles rippled, he looked so amazing. I kissed him hard, touching his firm stomach, our tongues battling softly. He tasted so good, I could tell by his grasp on my body how much he wanted me. As we continued to kiss, his hands slowly unbuttoned my shirt, removing it with force, as if he was in such a hurry to devour me. His hands slowly and strongly moved down my neck. I wanted him so badly, the room felt so hot, yet his body was cold to the touch. His mouth was so warm against mine, his kisses so sweet and firm, god I could kiss him forever I thought. Just as he started laying me down onto his bed, kissing every inch of me, his phone started to ring. No I thought, not now. Ring…ring…ring…

I awoke slightly, only then noticing that I was dreaming. Damn intense dream I thought. The phone still persistently rang. I rubbed my eyes awake, and picked up the phone. "Hello." I asked. "Hey, Buffy. You awake yet?" Willows tiny voice returned. "Well I am now." I said with somewhat of an onry tone. I looked at the clock, 7:04 am it showed. On a Saturday morning I thought. "Will, it's 7am, can't I get just a little bit more beauty sleep?" I started to complain. "Sure Buffy, I was just anxious to talk to you about something." Willow started, "but it can wait. Oz has early band practice anyway. I'll stop by your house after?" She asked. "Okay, yeah sounds good. See you then." I finished. We both hung up. I lie back down, ready to fall back asleep, continue my amazing dream. But sure enough I couldn't sleep. Stupid sand man I thought, as I rolled out of bed and into the shower.

I dressed in my small red sleeveless laced top, and some cute black capri's. I let my hair fall straight today. I headed to the back yard. For a moment I pulled back my hair. I started training, nothing difficult, just a few jabs, kicks, and weight lifts. I just wanted to get my full strength back. After about an hour of training I let my hair back down and settled in the front room on the couch. Willow should be here soon. Mom had been at the art gallery since this morning.

"Buffy." Willow shouted as she walked into the house. Mom loved Willow as much as I did. She, Xander and Giles could pretty much walk in when ever they wanted. Just as I was to reply she saw me on the couch. She hung up her jacket and came to sit down by me. "There you are Buff, how are you feeling?" Willow asked, already knowing the answer. "Good," I replied. "I have already got most of my strength back, can't wait for patrol tonight. " I said, Willow looking on silently. "I saw Angel last night." I decided to say. "Angel huh," Willow tried to say in a moony voice. "Yeah, he's going through a lot Will. After everything, I don't know if he'll get through this." I let in. "Oh, you SAW Angel" She said, therefore clarifying it wasn't exactly a love palooza with the 2 of us. "Buffy... Angel saved your life." "I know, I know, and I told him that. That if it weren't for you and him I wouldn't even be here, but he still wouldn't open up." I finished. "I think he just needs a little time Buffy. It'll be okay. Maybe try talking to him on patrol tonight. See how that goes." Willow suggested. "Well he already did have 2 weeks while I was in a coma to come to terms with things. But okay yeah, I'll try talking to him tonight." I agreed.

"Speaking of Angel…" Willow started. "I have been meaning to talk to you about something Buffy. While you were in a coma I was thinking. Now that Angel's soul is returned and everything is okay, you know your both alive, I thought maybe I would try and find a way to help Angel, with the curse I mean. I have been doing a lot of reading…about witchcraft. After that first spell I just started delving into it completely." Her face lit up. "Everything about witchcraft Buffy…it's all so amazing. So I started trying small spells, here and there." Willow kept on, I had to cut in. "Willow, you know how dangerous Giles said that stuff is, you sure your ready?" I let in. "Buffy, I have never been more ready for anything in my whole life…" We looked at each other softly. "So anyway…"Willow went on. " I found this spell…now don't freak out, I don't know if it will work for sure. But from what it said there is a way to restore Angel's soul… permanently, no strings…." I sat motionless for a second, I hadn't really registered it. "What, "I whispered.

"Now I know the magic shop has everything I need to perform the spell. I will need Angel to be there too of course. There is just one catch." Willow paused for a moment. "Wait…hold on. Are you serious?" I gasped. "So you mean... if this worked…Angel and I could be together…I mean really be together?" I found myself nearly hugging her to the floor I couldn't believe it. We both giggled slightly, as I released the hug I knew from the look on her face she could see the hope in my eyes. "Yes, really Buffy…" She started. "Don't get to excited though Buffy, I told you I don't know if it will work, there is a catch you know." She finished, looking a little sad. "Of course…there's always a catch." I said with a positive tone. "So what is it?" I questioned.

"Well…" Willow started. "I don't know." "C'mon Willow, it's me. I'm the slayer, I can handle it." I demanded slightly. "Well in order for the spell to work, we need the blood of a Mohra demon. Their blood has healing powers. When mixed with the right ingredients it makes the potion. Then I have to chant the right words as the mixture is injected straight into Angel's blood stream. It will leave him still a vampire. He'll still have all his vampiric strength and abilities. He'll still be the Angel you know, his soul will just be…permanent." Willow continued.

"From the research I have done, there are only 2 existing Mohra demons left on this plane, but I don't know where they are. Although there is a plane of existence where there are several, but it's dangerous Buffy. I don't know much about planes." Willow finished. "Oh," I sighed. Just great, I find a way we can be together but there is always something holding me back from getting it. "Well…" I started as Willow searched my face. "I say I hunt these demons…on our plane, find them, kill them and cure Angel." The words came out with such force. I knew I could do it. Besides, it was for Angel. I would do anything for him.

"Really Buffy?" Willow asked as we both stood to our feet. "Of course, "I started, "Will….it's Angel." "Okay." Willow sighed.

"Well let's meet up with Giles and the gang later and fill them in. We can get started tomorrow." "What about Angel?" I asked quickly. "Just talk to him tonight, remember." Willow reminded me. "Okay." I sighed softly. Willow shut the front door behind her. Angel, I thought. I wanted to be near him. Just the thought of this spell working excited me, not to mention my sexy dream. I pulled my hair back up into a pony tail and headed out towards the library ready to start training again. I caught Willow on my way out, and we walked together.


	4. Chapter 4 cont

_Authors Note: I Couldn't quite decide how to make this go. Took me a long time to decide how to get the demon. But I did, I hope you like it. It all should come together now. The prologue should make sense once I finish the first part of Chapter 5. This is the end of Chapter 4._

"Uh Buffy." Willow almost shrieked. "Yeah…" I replied my back turned to her. "I think I did something really stupid, and now uh…Buffy!" Willow screamed. I finally turned my head looking at her. A Demon was headed in our direction.

We had just been sitting in my front yard discussing things. I was ranting on about how Xander was being such as asshole about us doing the spell. Just like the first spell, of course Xander didn't want us to do it, he hated Angel he didn't see a reason to help him at all. Then Giles, I mean I understood his point of view but I didn't want to listen. Luckily I still had Willow on my side, without her we couldn't even do this. After the big argument we went through with Giles and Xander we just decided to do this on our own. Even though Giles suggested we not. I had to do it, they didn't understand. Moments later when I left for like 10 minutes to wash up from training, I heard Willow call my name; I assumed she was just calling for me casually. I didn't think I would step out the front door to see a demon headed straight for us, until I heard her scream.

How did they always know how to find me, I thought. "Willow, get over here." I yelled as I prepared for battle. Willow got up quickly from the grass, leaving what seemed to be a glass bowl of herbs, and ran over behind my back.

Weapons, weapons, I thought. "I need a Weapon!" I shouted Willow heard what I said and ran in the house. The demon came at me full force, its big ugly green face and rusty armor. What kinda demon was he suppose to be anyway, with his stupid red jewel on his for head? I blocked the first slash of his sword. I ducked and swirled quickly and kicked him back. He was strong, he barely faltered. "Willow….!" I yelled…"A little faster please." I continued. This thing didn't stop, his sword flying around he kicked me hard. As I stumbled back he grabbed my head and flipped me over. I landed on my back, damn that hurt, I thought as I slightly grunted. I did a flip up off the ground and started pummeling him in the face, waiting for Willow to return with e weapon.

Willow flew out the front door, big ax in hand. "Buffy." Willow yelled. I turned towards her for but a second in between hitting the demon. She threw the ax in the air. I ran towards the demon full force kicked him in the face as I leaped in the air and caught the ax. "Perfect." I gasped as I dropped to the ground, landing on my feet. The demon charged me from behind, I turned ready to stick the ax in his head. But he saw it coming and ducked as I swiveled the ax around in a circle. As I came back around his fist was waiting for me. It knocked me in the jaw throwing me back. This was taking forever I thought, damn he is just not giving up.

I kneeled down, ax in hand to block his next flying kick. I stood up, turned to see Willow running in the house and him running after her. "Hey!" I yelled as the demons face then turned towards me. "I'm the one you want." I said smiling. Willow made it in the front door as the demon turned and raced back towards me. "You….die…" the demon growled. "No…..I live….you die……don't you know that?" I seemed to question as I blocked his next punch. I ducked once again turning in a circle kicking his legs, hard. He fell to his knees. I saw my moment. I lifted my ax full force. Jumped in the air and swirled with all my might. Ax flying it sliced the demons head clean off. I landed on my feet once again, ax in hand, covered in green demon blood.

I eyed the demons body, making sure he was dead. His disembodied head started to move. I responded quickly by slicing at the head, cutting it into pieces. The Demon laid dead, and in my front yard no less. "God I hate when they make a mess." I said as I smirked up at Willow as she came out the front door. "I'll have to take this somewhere and burry it…" I paused "Wait…Willow…I take it this is the stupid thing you did?" I finished. Willow looked at me, smiling cautiously. "Uh…Yeah… Sorry about that."

"He just came out of no where, what the hell was up with that?" I asked, searching our surroundings, making sure there were no more. "Actually Buffy…he didn't come out of no where. That's why I said stupid thing. Hah" she started to giggle, then stopped abruptly. "Then where the hell did he come from?" Now looking at her sternly she replied. "I kinda… summoned him…from another dimension…." She looked to the ground. "Willow!" I started in, "Well, I wanted to help, and I didn't know how to find the demon. So when you went in the house I thought I would just try something really quick. I didn't expect it to work….but hey….it worked….and…and uh we have our demon now right" She looked at me hesitantly.

"Wait" I said, "That's the Mohra Demon?" I looked at the demons mangled body. "Yeah Buff… look I'm really sorry I almost got us well….killed. But you killed the demon. We have its' blood now. We can do the spell." She finished looking at me kindly.

"You sure there aren't any repercussions Will. I mean Giles said that doing magic came with a price. How do we know more aren't coming?" I questioned as we both sat down on the front porch. "I mean I am really glad we got the demon Will, don't get me wrong, but…if more come….they were so strong Will, I couldn't take on more then one. Not alone anyway. " I finished. "I know Buffy. I can't know what's gonna happen. Like I said…I didn't think it would work, I don't even know how I brought it here." Willow replied. "I know I'm sorry Will…you were just trying to help." I let in. "Well…" I started. "If we are going to do this, let's do this then. We'll wait til dark. I'll try to find Angel tonight on patrol. I'll tell him the story and we'll get this done." I finished.

All I could think about a that moment was finding Angel, doing the spell, curing him for good and being at his side. I didn't know what was coming next. But I knew I needed Angel. I couldn't risk anything happening and him reverting to Angelus again. If we just got this done, I knew we could get through anything…together. I hope he is doing okay, all alone. I wish he was here.

Willow came out the front door with a small jar. She was better at the ewey, gooey part of the demons then I was. I mean weird huh, a Slayer who doesn't like blood. I mean sure I was used to blood. Didn't mean I liked seeing it, or you know…getting it on me. Willow picked up the demons blood with a spoon and put it in the jar. She then pulled out a syringe. She sure didn't find it at my house. "Gee Will, "I started. "You really come prepared don't you?" I said as I watched her pull the blood back into the syringe. "All set." She replied, standing up. "Okay…I'll get this demon out of here before anybody see's it and realizes what it is." I went on as I dragged the demons body…and yes, its' head into my backyard.

Just as my mom pulled up into the driveway, Willow had left. We had planned to meet later that night. That is assuming after I talk to Angel everything goes smoothly. "Hey Buffy." My mom stated as she exited her vehicle and locked the doors.

"Hi mom, how was everything at the gallery?" I asked trying to seem enthused. After everything that had happened she was handling things pretty well. She only called Giles like 8 times while I was at the library to make sure I was okay. "Great Buffy, things were great." She said as we both walked in the house. "How was your day Buffy? Did you uh…kill any...uh…vampires?" She asked trying to sound like she knew what she was talking about. "Actually no…it's still light out. Vampires generally tend to you know…burst into flames, they don't like the sun." I giggled slightly, liking my own remark. "Demons on the other hand…" I went on, not meaning to mention demons, but I did accidentally, considering I just slayed one. "Demons…what demons?" My mom asked quickly. "Oh nothing," I said calmly as to not stir up anything. She brushed it off gladly and we both headed in to the kitchen for dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

_Authors note: Here is where it should all come together. But dont worry there is more...or is there?? I have been trying really hard to keep the true nature of each of the characters. To keep this as much a Joss Whedon's type of Buffy as I can. I just had to let everyone know, I love his work. I Fell in love with his work on Buffy. I hope this sticks true to the characters actions and behaviors. I am pretty sure it does, I would never want to change them. I hope all of that even makes sense. LOL._

**Chapter 5**

After dinner I spent a bit of time in my room…thinking. What had the gang been doing the last 2 weeks that I was in a coma? Sure I had defeated Acathla and Angelus, but there were still demons, and vampires. Who was out there fighting them all that time? I know it wasn't my friends. How many had died because I was in a coma? Then I again I remembered that if I hadn't stopped Acathla none of us would be here at all. So I guess it all worked out.

Plus, I am back now and I had already killed a demon. The clock read 8:34 pm, patrol hour was almost nigh, I couldn't wait to kick some vampire ass. One of which possibly being Angel, if he doesn't cooperate with doing the spell. I hope he will, I thought. We can finally be together. I knew our motives were selfish, I knew that maybe, just maybe a slayer isn't supposed to be allowed to be in love, especially not with a vampire. But I did, I loved Angel with all my heart. I was willing to sacrifice his life, to save the world. Knowing that I knew my motives couldn't be that selfish, I always did what I had to do, for the world. Thank god I didn't have to kill him though; I don't know how I would have handled it. Angel is my other half, my whole. Without him…I didn't let my mind finish that thought. I had to see him. All this thinking, I couldn't take it anymore. It was time to see him.

After letting my mom know how long I would be out, and reassuring her I would be a careful as possible, I grabbed my black bag of weapons and was out the door. It was a warm night, not much wind to speak of at all. It was the perfect night to be cuddled up with your honey, looking up at the stars. Like I will ever get that I thought.

I walked through the streets of Sunnydale, eyes peeled. Thank god vampires weren't roaming the streets. "Hmmm..." I mumbled to myself, "Where are all the vampires?" I said softly, making my way passed the bronze and into the grass of the nearest cemetery. "Come out, come out wherever you are?" I whispered with a slight giggle. "Slow night…" I said to myself, not seeing anything or anyone around.

I swept through that cemetery fast, I thought. I checked everywhere, no fresh graves, and no vamps. Oh well, I thought, all the better. I have what… 11 other cemeteries to check out. Plus Angel's place wasn't close to that cemetery anyway; I needed to get a move on. I am sure Willow didn't want to be waiting up all night to do the spell. I was too anxious as well.

So, I thought I would quickly stop by Angel's mansion, you know just to get this talk with him over real quick; then I would call Willow, we would meet up, do the spell, and then I would get back out on patrol…with Angel, easy as pie.

Well when I got to the mansion he was no where to be found. So much for that plan. The town was starting to seem abandoned. I knew that wasn't the case, but you know 30 minutes out and I still haven't seen a vampire. Me destroying Acathla really must have scared them shitless, I thought. "Well then," I started. "Angel has to be out there somewhere, he wouldn't just leave town..." I kept whispering to myself. "Or would he? Everything he was going through?" I couldn't accept that last statement. He wouldn't leave, I knew he loved me. Willow even said; he didn't leave my bedside the whole time I was in a coma.

As I left the mansion I was trying to think fast of where to go next, the next closest cemetery would be the best bet. I could slay the vamps, and look for Angel at the same time.

_PROLOGUE follows this scene. (I am attaching the prologue to this part of the story so that you don't have to navigate back)_

Prologue:

"Aw Damnit! I hate when they just have to share the dirt with me." I stated as the last of four vampires turned to dust in front of me. I was so busy staking I didn't notice they got dirt all over my jacket…again. "Why can't vampires be clean…and you know smell nice; or at least not smell dead" I said to myself pretty much knowing the answer why "Just cuz you know their dead...don't mean hygiene rules just fly out the window." I finished as I started wiping the dirt away and glanced for a place to sit down near a fresh grave. I had to work alone so often I got used to talking to myself. I'm pretty sure even if my friends were here they would just nod in aggreeance with me.

I sat in the Restfield Cemetery once again. Twirling Mr. Pointy in one hand, while the other brushed the remaining dirt off my jacket. Sitting on what seemed to say James Whorlkin's headstone, the headstone was so chipped already I could barely read it. Waiting for yet another vampire to wake his ass up and come out and play. "C'mon James…there's a whole lot I'd rather be doing right now." I'd been patrolling for nearly 4 hours now. Restfield was my last stop. Giles reminded me there were quite a few mysterious deaths in the last few days around this area. Had to make sure I stayed long enough to get them all.

I was wearing my favorite black leather jacket, a tight pink sleeveless top and my black knee length spandex; with my hair pulled back in a pony tail; Easiest clothes to wear when rolling around with the vamps. I was also wearing my new amazingly white tennis shoes. Oh how I wish I could be wearing stilettos…maybe someday…when I have time to think about that sort of thing. I kept looking at my nails, trying to figure what color I would use next, light blue, turquoise maybe. Assuming I would be alive tomorrow. Being a slayer you never know.

So there I sat just waiting and letting my mind wander a bit. I have been sitting here so long now I started reminiscing. Thinking how lucky I was to even be alive right now. Having died once already for like 2 minutes was enough dead time for me. Just to think, if it wasn't for my friends, I wouldn't even be here. First time I died, Xander saved my life with CPR. This last time was worse then the first. If it weren't for Willow I'd be 6 feet under waiting to come out and play with Mr. Pointy, while Angel killed all my friends. For a moment I caught myself thinking out loud. "Angel..." I said softly "Where are you?"


	6. Chapter 5 cont

_Authors Note: I spent alot alot of time on this section. I spent so much time i felt like alot of words started to slur together. Please let me know if this runs smoothly, or if it doesn't. It was one of my most favoite parts to write so I was really trying hard to make it good._

With my mind wandering I barely noticed the loud noises behind me. Before I could turn to see where it was coming from or what it was, I was knocked over, Angel was lying on top of me on the ground. My mind was racing; I was so caught off guard. One minute I am asking where he is, the next he is looking straight into my eyes, and on top of me no less. He was so close I could smell his sweet cologne and his strong aftershave. I lay there, motionless, not wanting to leave the ground. He was only leaned against me, but with every breath I took I wanted that much more to kiss him, hold him. But I didn't.

Before I knew it Angel jumped up and turned to the vampire that was coming at us. Throwing his fist into the vampires face, the vampire fell back. Angel turned and put out his hand. Normally I didn't need help up, I was the slayer, I helped other people up. But at the moment I was locked in a short moment of unexpected passion. I quickly snapped out of it as I grabbed his hand and jumped to my feet.

Angel was pummeling the vampire in the face. I watched, wondering if I should cut in. The beating up of the vampire seemed to help Angel, he looked focused, calm. Suddenly Angel took one in the face. That was my moment. I grabbed my stake that had fallen on the ground next to us. I ran at the vampire, kicked him in the lower stomach, and flew my fists in his face a few more times before running the stake through his heart.

Angel now turning his head back towards me from being punched looked at me silently. I didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to say. I could have asked him what the hell he was doing here, but I didn't. The feelings were there, the passion, the heat, but neither of us sure what to do about it. Luckily, and I hate to say this, but luckily James finally woke up. I could tell because the dirt and grass were being torn up from beneath the ground. I decided to make the situation a little less confusing and more…well…funny. I looked towards the grave.

"Finally decided to come out and play huh?" I said in a tone only I knew was meant to be making a joke, but I obviously knew it was just a comment. God, I am so mentally challenged sometimes. Especially when having awkward, sexual moments with Angel.

I looked at James; he had almost made his way out of the grave completely by the time I got to him. I could have staked him easily at that moment, but with the weird sexual tension between Angel and me at that moment, I decided a little more killing was an order.

Angel still stood behind me, watching. I couldn't help but notice it. I kept looking out of the corner of my eye, just wanting to stare at him. James and I were fist fighting by that time. Well mostly, I was just dodging what James obviously thought was a punch. I had to keep the fight going, until the tension between Angel and I had passed. Why did this vampire have to fight so badly, he was making this really hard?

Angel seemed to like watching me fight; he kept looking at me, then looking away when he caught my eyes. I threw in a few kicks at James' face, throwing him back. I turned to see where Angel was at, making sure I didn't lose him. When I turned I hadn't realized how close we were fighting by him, when I turned I was practically face to face with Angel. Great, I thought, way to go Buffy, just keep on getting closer to him I retorted inside my head, which made me giggle.

This whole thing was getting old. I was using way too much slayer strength on this one vampire that could barely even fight. I should just end it I thought. But wait, if I do Angel will know something is up, he'll know I was stalling. I decided to give James the upper hand. I practically ran into his fist. I was good, I hit his fist so hard, I nearly knocked myself out. I lay on the ground as I saw Angel run up to James, easily thrusting the stake I had dropped into his heart, his dust floating in the air around us.

"Are you okay?" Angel seemed to say frantically. I didn't respond, just looked around, maybe for more vampires to come along. But none did, we were gonna have to talk now.

"Buffy," Angel started, "what was that all about?" he said softly as he again helped me to my feet looking me deep in the eyes for the first time in such a long time.

His glare, he was so gorgeous I could've melted into his arms right there, but I didn't of course.

"Oh nothing…Just you know, being stupid." I stated with a shy smile.

Angel looked at me with a look that told me he didn't quite understand what I was saying. "I was just…Okay!" I somewhat shouted, "I was stalling; you kinda fell on me out of no where, it threw me off guard, at first all I could think about was your body on top of me, then there was the vampires and the slaying and the awkwardness, I just you know…panicked…a little." I noticed I was rambling on. There he stood, looking amazingly gorgeous; he actually wasn't running off this time, even after I mentioned us touching.

"Buffy… I can't… be around…" Angel started to say. But I knew what he was going to say so I cut him off, "Look Angel, I have been looking for you all night; there is something I need to tell you…listen I know what you're going through right now and obviously, from seeing you kicking some serious vampire ass you need to get some pain off your chest, but this is important."

I tried to keep going but he now cut me off, "Buffy…" he seemed to scream, his eyes starting to fill with tears. "Don't" He said, "please…don't…it's hard enough just to look at you, to be near you. I feel so bad about what I put you through Buffy… Sure I fight, I kill these demons, when the real demon I want to kill is myself…for what I did to you…Buffy….I love you so much, how can you ever forgive me?" He finished, holding back his sorrow as much as he could. He seemed full of anger; only I knew it was grief.

"Angel… that's what I have been trying to tell you the last few days..." I started, not taking my eyes off him. "I forgave you the moment I woke up from a coma and saw your face...I saw you change that day; the last thing I remember before passing out, is your face. I knew it was you again, you just held me." I looked at the ground hoping that meant something to him. "Angel I know it wasn't you that did all those things, it was the demon inside; and I have found a way to get rid of him….forever." I finished slowly, tears swelling up.

His face rose, he looked somewhat shocked.

"What." Angel questioned, now resting his arms around his body and looking at me with alertness.

"Willow and I, well, Willow mostly, she found this spell." I looked up at him waiting for an expression, but he still looked at me tentatively waiting. "Angel this spell will cure you….for good. No more worrying about losing your soul, no more strings, and no more Angelus." I continued. Finally his face fell a little bit at the mention of his murderous alter ego. "We already have everything we need to perform the spell, we just need you." I paused looking at him waiting for a response. "Look, I can tell by the fact that your not responding says you don't really know how you feel about this, but think about it Angel. No more pain, no more excuses; we can finally be together. Willow is waiting for us…Angel please" I pleaded so softly, I wondered if he heard me. I looked up at him with soft eyes, only then realizing how much he was looking right into my eyes.

"Angel?" I said, still waiting for a response. He moved slowly towards me, reaching up his hand, touching my cheek softly; his hand felt so cold, yet comforting at the same time.

"Angel." I repeated, but was stopped at his finger on my lips. "Ssshh…," he sighed.

I could feel him so closely to me now. I thought I might cry even harder if he didn't agree to go with me to see Willow. I could tell he was contemplating his answer. All that we had gone through, I should have known he was just waiting to know how I really felt. I felt tears start to swell in my eyes again, still waiting for his response. As he slowly lowered his finger he spoke, "Where is she?" he whispered. My heart skipped a beat, I knew he meant, where's Willow; those words alone brought me comfort.

We gazed at each other for but a moment.

He cupped my cheek once more, and then pulled me close to his chest hugging me softly. I rested my head on his chest for what felt like hours, but was mere moments. I looked up at him once again, holding back every urge I had inside to kiss him. I could finally feel the walls around him breaking down.

"She's at her house." I whispered to break the silence. "Hopefully she is still awake….Angel…." I was going to tell him how much I missed him, how much he meant to me. But at that moment our arms around each other said enough. He looked at me softly. "Yeah Buffy?" He could tell by the true love in my eyes that everything would be okay. "Let's go." I finished.

He grinned slightly as we parted and turned in the direction of Willows house. I knew he was a little skeptical about the spell; I also knew this meant he was going to do it. He would have more pain to go through yes, but at least with no worries of losing his soul he could truly move on from the pain. I think he knew that; so we walked, I put my hand in his and we started off into the dark filled night.

At that moment, I noticed, he was no longer running away.


	7. Chapter 6

_Authors Note: I loved writing this scene. Remember I am speaking from Buffy's POV. Hopefully I separated the phrases better this time for all to understand better. Thanks for any thoughts or reveiws._

_I own none of these characters, they all belong to Joss. I keep them as true to his idea of the character as possible._

**Chapter 6**

I knew Willow had heard us knock at her back door. I also knew Angel had used it before; a time long ago, when he was worried about me trusting the wrong people. Funny to think about now, after all that's happened.

Willow was taking a long time to answer. It was a little after 1 am; I hoped she was still awake.

Angel stood close to me, still holding my hand. He hadn't let go since we started walking. I liked it that way, touching him at all times. I knew it was stupid, weird even, but his closeness made me feel safe, calm, made me feel like I could do anything.

I knocked once more; about ready to turn and leave, she was taking too long. Angel glanced at me, "Maybe she is asleep Buffy." He stated, "We can just come back in the morn..." The door opening cut him off, "Or not." He finished finally seeing Willows head poke out.

"Sorry guys. My mom must have heard me practicing. I woke her up and she wouldn't leave me alone about the smell in here. I had to make her think I was going to bed. Sorry." Willow apologized, not needing to.

"No problem Will." I gasped as Angel and I finished walking into her bedroom, Willow shutting the door behind us.

"It sure is a problem." A voice from the closet started to say, "Especially when you're the one that has to hide in the closet….ow." The voice stated as he made his way through Willows clothes and out of the closet. "It is not comfortable in there." the voice joked. I turned, knowing in an instant who it was, I just couldn't believe he was here.

"Xander?" I said, seeming to question, only because I knew how he felt about the situation. I was questioning because I wanted to know why he was even there. I wasn't in the mood to get into it with him again. "What are you doing here?"

Angel sat comfortably on Willows bed. Willow walked over to Xander and led him to the bed as well, making sure he was on the opposite side from Angel. I stood at the foot of the bed, able to look at everyone.

"Buffy, he was just…" Willow started as Xander cut in. "Will, please…let me."

"Look Buffy…Willow and I have been talking…all night actually." His face started to turn serious. "Look I'm sorry about the way I reacted earlier. After everything that's happened, I just…I don't know…I hoped things would just go back to the way they were…with Angel out of the picture…" his hand rose as he kinda pointed at Angel, "No offense man…" he slightly retorted, "But the thing is…" he continued. "I know how you feel about Angel…and as much as I don't like saying it, I know how much he loves you Buffy. I know it was Angelus that did all those things to you, to us. I don't want to be the one that keeps Angel and you apart. After everything we've been through…you deserve to be happy. That's why I am here; I wanna be here for you Buff. I'm sorry I wasn't before." Xander finished looking at me with loving eyes.

By that time Angel had lowered his head, hearing Xander talk about Angelus; I knew it made his mind flash back to those memories. Willow's hand was on Xander's back; already having talked to him that night she knew what he was going to say before he said it to me.

I stood in silence for a moment, gazing at my loved ones.

"Xander…" I started. "It means a lot." I finished as I walked over to him. He stood up and put his arms around me. We hugged for but a moment. We hadn't really hugged since, since before I was in a coma. I felt relieved to know that Xander was on our side about all of this. I thought I might cry if I hugged him any longer.

"So…can we do this?" I asked as I pulled away from Xander; he sat back down and Willow stood. Willow walked over to her desk and got a small syringe. Seeing it I knew it was the demons blood. "Sure can." Willow stated excitedly.

"Angel I need you to sit in the middle of that circle." Willow pointed to a small circle of colored dust. She had obviously prepared for this. As Angel walked the short distance across the room he made sure to squeeze my hand as he passed me. "Buffy I need you over here." Willow pointed to one side of the circle. I moved to that side of the circle as Willow stood directly across from me. Xander stayed seated on the bed.

"Now Buffy, you won't have to say anything. Just hold my hands; I'll take care of everything else." Willow again said excitedly. "Now when I say to Buffy," Willow started again as she handed me the syringe, "You need to inject this straight into Angel's heart, as quickly as possible, if you don't do it fast enough it could screw up everything." She finished now seeming worried. I nodded understanding what I had to do.

Angel then turned to face me, making it easier to access his chest.

He started to unbutton his shirt. I started getting excited and looked at him with so much passion in my eyes; I quickly stopped myself. He only unbuttoned enough to reveal his upper chest, where I could inject the syringe. He gazed at me so warmingly. His soft gaze made me weak in the knees, not only that I could now see his large gorgeous peck muscles. Breathing him in I sighed, I couldn't believe we were actually doing this.

"You sure?" I whispered. He nodded.

"Besides that Will, you sure this will work?" I cautioned one last time.

"Sure will…I've done everything exactly as the book says." She stated more calmly now."I even practiced."

"Great." I said, softly. "Let's do it."

Angel grinned at me slightly standing readily in the middle of the circle Willow had prepared. Xander lay on the bed with a bag popcorn, acting as if he were watching a movie. Willow laid her book out in front of her ready to do the spell, herbs lying all around her.

I looked at Angel one last time before looking to Willow and nodding as I grasped her hands.

The air was filling with a foul smell; I then knew what Willow was referring to about the smell. Willow was chanting, chanting words I had never heard.

She no longer needed to hold my hands. Her eyes seemed to roll to the back of her head as she continued to chant.

I just looked at Angel, gazing into his gorgeous eyes, waiting for my moment.

The chanting got louder.

"Acquiro…….Durat……" Willow kept chanting.

Willows head dropped to eye level for but a moment. "Now Buffy….Now…" Willow seemed to yell her eyes still stark white.

I took the syringe, looked at Angel's eyes full of hope. I thrust the syringe deep into his chest and injected the blood just as Willow had told me. He only moved slightly due to the pressure I used.

Soon Angels' body looked as if he was going to convulse. His body shook slightly and his hands, now balled in fists at his sides. He was holding back his cry of pain, I could tell. I stood still, making sure not to ruin the spell; wanting so badly to touch him, help him. I saw his eyes glow a bright yellow like the sun. The same they did when I first saw him change. Hopefully that was a good sign.

His body finally stopped shaking and he dropped to the floor.

Willow had stopped chanting by the time he hit the floor. She looked at me waiting for a response. I didn't know what to say, how to react.

"Did it work?" Willow finally decided to say, as her eyes now refocused on the room.

I had dropped to the floor by Angel, softly running my hand across his face. He wasn't moving.

"I don't know," I said worriedly, "He's not moving." I finished. He already didn't breath; it was killing me not knowing if he was okay. I didn't know what to do; I wondered if I had done it fast enough. He wasn't bursting into dust; that had to mean something good….right?


	8. Chapter 6 Midway

End of Episode. To read the Next Episode Read "Faith, Love & a Trick" on my stories List.


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